Week 4...

... has been the worst!

I still don't know what I made on the test but i think it went well. Got 8/10 on my quiz but yesterday I failed 2 parts of the assessment- Apical & radial pulse counts. I can not count the beats of the heart- not by listening or by feeling. I must be retarded!

Although I wasn't surprised I messed up on something I was surprised that it was that. I took it well when it was going on but 24 hours later the repercussion is overwelhming and there have been some severe stress induced tears. I get the chance to practice one on one and re-test (i gotta find someone available to do it- challenge). And if i fail again... I get one more shot But it's a big ordeal involving 2 ten year faculty members. Might try to get it done on Sunday but if i fail it again I'm not sure I'll take it as well as the first time. I'm pretty sure it will be either A. a slow burst into tears while they say just practice practice practice, u aren't first- u won't be the last... OR B. i can hold it in but am in tears before i leave the building or at least by the time i hit the car and just totally lose it!

Although I try to avoid those potentially negative thoughts- it's hard to control when you are already at the beginning of a potential downward spiral. My slim confidence is not destroyed. The devil on my shoulder says" why do u do anything u don't want to when u r an adult" "but the angel says it is for a good reason and persevere Lee"...

Like the captain of a ship, I will go down with it... even if it causes me 3 headaches in 1 day....

Skip week 3, I'm in week 4!

So..week 3 was alright. Slightly stressful but I pulled through...

So week 4...

I took my first Exam today! I think I did alright but we'll just have to wait for the scores to see... this will define my standings and clue me into what i'm not doing right, if anything.

So Wednesday is my big stress day... I'm just worried about assessing a classmate, I've practiced on my mom and Rob but on both I couldn't fine 2 pulses, not exactly sure about the chest sounds... I mean I just don't like the whole rib to intercostal space- I just don't feel confident in what i'm "feeling" i guess. Then the BP- I feel ok with this but not sure about being Spot On. At least with the systolic pressure- it just comes so fast....Brachial pulses aren't always easy either. Of course if you get nit-picky then I could list a lot more areas they may hold against me.

But I only get 2 or 3 "prompts" before failure...

So i'd appreciate any prayers my way! My class starts at 8 am on wed. and is over at 12.

My knees are a shakin!

Week 2....

Well well, week 2 is done...

It was a short one, just 3 days....

Learned some stuff but towards the end I just felt like I was slipping a bit. And I was informed that in 2 weeks when we have our vitals/neuro/vascular/cardiac demo check off that we will be paired up with a random student of the same sex and have to do the exam on each other, this will involve taking off our shirt (wear a sports bra or bikini top) and shoes/socks. UGH!

I can never find a good fitting sports bra so that leaves the bikini top. I have them but still... things are different with surgically produced breasts. Not sure if i'll have the choice of who goes first but I'd prefer second i guess...Then of course the other student will know all the mistakes I made and it is just one of those already nerve racking situations and they just made it worse....But before i start wondering down that "I don't know if i can make it" path I'm going to just take it one day at a time. Today I'm going to read and study my new chapters for next week and keep on that until monday. So anyone who reads this, please say a pray for me because this is incrediblly hard. Keep up the prayers until I graduate and get my license please :)

I survived the first week of nursing school.....

... but what about week 2?

So nursing school is the hardest, toughest thing because (at least for me) I really must devote 95% of my time to school related activities. Whether it be attending classes, setting up lab times for practice & demo check-offs, or studying, reading chapters, working on terms, and D.A. (basically drug math).

I have to say that I probably wouldn't be able to do this without my husband (or the financial assistance that allows be to spend all my time on school). Rob has offered to do the dinner and dishes Mon-Wed (maybe Thursday too) since I'm non-stop busy and those are his light or off days at work. Max even hurt himself this week and he took my dog to the vet for me. This made me happy but stressed too because i love my max and want to be there for him. Nursing school is like a lifestyle... I'll have to neglect alot of avenues of my former life just to attempt success at school.

Will I make it? I don't know but I'm giving it all I have and I hope & pray that it pays off/works out. I've basically given up on following my TV shows, maybe I'll catch a re-run on the weekend if i have a break in studies or something. I do still watch True Blood an Big Brother- although both those shows will end soon. I'm in bed my 9 or 10 and up my 5:30-6:30 just so that I am at school before classes and get an OK parking spot.

Everyone says it is hard and you believe them when they say it but "hard" is just skimming the top of what it is really like. Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion but that is how it is for me. I do have to study all the time or I won't know my stuff. I can't just read it once and know it for life, lucky for those who can. So back to my terms, then maybe I'll actually start reading my 8 chapters over my long weekend.

And if I had my late checks then I'd print up a bunch of stuff....

Also I passed my hand washing skill & PPE skill... coming up skills:

Vital signs

Sterile field

Neuro/cardiac/vascular assessments

Wound care

Bed bath

Transporting clients

making a bed

TED hose

Ostomy care

Catheters (all 3 types)

Enema

Physical restraints

Spirometry

Medication applications (topical/inserts/drops)

And then I get 3 days with an eldery person ...