Saturday, July 16, 2011

2 weeks & counting...

So... test 2: 76.25. I can't complain but feel as though I should have (could have?) done better.. a well. I only have a smidge over 2 weeks left until the semester is donzo!
Monday: 12 hr lab day
Wed- Clinical
Thurs: 1 of 2 Finals
Fri: lecture....
Of course any test stirs up the jitters within but the 12 hour (so so long day) lab event, which seems to be a big mystery of what is occurring but you know it's a lot of Sims activity (simulation with group). Of course I'd rather take a written test or do a little one on one activity. People make me nervous, being put on spot makes me nervous, end of semester & in need of certain amount of points to pass - makes me nervous, the freaking final 2 days later that I've barely studied for- makes me nervous! Unfortunately I've had this terrible thing where I don't like to raise my hand or be put on spot for fear of being wrong (ie- failure). I can accept myself but I have a hard time with other people- the judgement thing i guess. Which i suppose stems from some unfortunate childhood experiences with kids being cruel. I know we aren't kids but we live in a nation of opinions- that most people have an opinion on everything. It's a get-through-it day for me (& I'm sure many other students too). So tomorrow I'm stepping away from test content & checking up on the areas they told us to look over (but still no precise directions of the day). Yes- many times I am my own worst enemy. And I'd easily not give a hoot about what they think but.... i am stuck there for 12 hours & more importantly will be spending at least 8 more months with these people. It's times like this I just need some magic pill to take away the excess unnecessary stress I cause myself, know what I mean?

So saying my prayers for school & my Daddy (& everything else- max). On August 2nd (final-final) I'm going to come home take a bubble bath & maybe read my Stackhouse book & just take a huge sigh of relief & most importantly thank the Lord , my Lord for giving me that day and allowing me to be right "here" (or there whatever).

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