You have got to watch this...

Hacksaw Ridge

I want to start off by saying this movie is graphic, in the blood and guts sense of things. That probably helps to get you emotionally connected to the real-life experience of Dos. However, the message and feeling this movie can elicit in someone is profound and should not be missed. 

Why do I love this movie?

I tend to like some military movies (The Guardian, Private Benjamin, Officer & a Gentleman, etc) and this movie is more along The Guardian in that it has some realism to it and a little bit love story but that part is background music to the message or meaning. 

I'm not going to give the plot away but it made me motivated and that I am not on earth to service myself but to serve others and God. That the superficial garbage is just that. That I totally understand that dying for your country thing. I know people fear to join the service and dying but as someone who has had thoughts of joining I have not feared my own death because I know the greater good it could service if it happened. However, being a spouse I know my view shifts when I think of my loved one joining because it is focused on my potential losses. It is not focused on the duty of service and dignity in dying. 

Regardless of how you feel about the military, please watch this movie because this man was the definition of courageous, I only hope to be half as much. 

*****

My week reflected...

All in all I can't complain. I've been told we are approved for the house we want to rent, I got a B on the exit Hesi, and I was called for my first interview....
But is it odd that I feel somewhat down or disappointed?
I found out Tuesday about the house and have yet to hear back from 2 emails sent since then. My interview never happened. First the lady never called so I called the hospital, then through a 3rd party I was told she still intends to call me. But that was Wed. and no day/time was proposed. And the icing of disappointment- I have to wait another week to get my finger prints- ugh!
So although I'm glad for the Hesi and i guess you could say it is the most important thing to me at this time since graduation could make/break me. My overwhelming joy has sort of "deflated" and now I must shrink back my excitement to normal, everyday levels. It's like shrinking your stomach back after Thanksgiving dinner. So I'm currently waiting for 3 people to contact me, as my future may depend of them (at least 2 out 3). I have another place to apply for but I guess I was hopeful tat this job that called me could be the "one". So while my husband serves VIPs at Earth Day Birthday all day concert festival I will fight boredom and drowsiness all alone. The fact I'm slightly less than happy probably will only feed my drowsy state. I hope this next week which will start soon, will be better... loose ends tied up and complete a few things. BTW thanks for all the prayers and feel free to send a few more. My last exam is April 23rd.

Blessings & Prayers

Allow me update you on my week... if you read my facebook page you already know! But I would love some prayers on theses 3 important things going on in my life...

1. I have the exit hesi exam, which is like a final that includes everything we have learned plus somethings the teachers didn't have time to teach us (oh my goodness). 165 questions in 5 hours= 50% of my grade for N6- let the lord bless me and help me!!


2. I have my very first nursing job interview tomorrow, even sweeter it's on a postpartum unit and in morristown so I wouldn't have an hour to commute to most other hospitals. Yay! it's a phone interview and I'm excited!


3. Rob and I just approved for our Orchard Grove rental house! So now we are just fine tuning the lease agreement and whatnot so soon we will sign and pay. Unfortunanly we will probably pay rent a week or more before the date we will actually move due to graduation and having to get my paperwork done for TN-BON. But just glad to be able to get it!

So that is my prayer list (the short version) of course I pray to pass and graduate, this hesi exam will probably be a good determining factor in that since I got an A on the first test (but it counted for 25%). None the less this week has been amazing, & amazingly stressful! Time to study before my 9am thurs test! I feel like God is telling me I'm finally on the right path....

Let Nursing 6 begin- Road to Graduation!

Forgive for not posting sooner but I passed nursing 5. I was slightly disappointed with my grade compared to the last few Hesi exams but it was still good. Also slightly disappointed with the fact that I heard the teacher saying how awesome other students did but then said (reluctantly?) "good job and check the ones you missed so you can review them".... What can I say, I did my best and asked God to help and reguardless of what others think of my grade I did well and I passed the class with a B. Yes yes I got a B!!!! To me that is a miracle, so thanks God.....

But like nursing school fashion our first exam of nursing 6 is Tuesday.... momma mia! It's on Pharm, Mental Health, & Dosage so I'm trying my best to prepare like always and praying to God for help and releave my fears/anxiety etc. I think with each clinical lately God has shown me that I am on the right path and that he does want this for my life. I can't tell you how many times I have mentioned the "calling" I have for this profession. If fact I am not sure if most people would understand how moved I am and grateful that God has chosen this for me. I am just about to tear up thinking about it all and I'm not sure if I won't ear up at pinning on May 2, 2012. Especially since my dad will be there and the one person who won't that I wish could- Dorothy. So there is goes, trickle trickle down my face lol. I guess I need God that day too (like i do everyday) to keep me calm and in charge of my emotions so I don't start bawling my eyes out because for that I'm sure no one will understand.....

Ok so I have 3 exams and 7 practicum days on postpartum unit. So if care to pray for me that would be awesome because I'm sure to be stressed & challaged. God has blessed me so much and I hope he will continue to through this process and getting my family in a stable life in TN.

Also if anyone has prayed or will pray on my behalf- thank you...

Also- I've had that song "this little light of mine I'm going to let it shine" stuck in my head for days but I tweaked it a bit " This little light of mine, God's gonna let it shine..." hehe

Pharm = Complete!

So I passed my Pharm final, actually more than passed it so of course I did pretty well on the class. God answered my prayers and blessed me. So now I have to get my last clinical on Wed. & then the Nursing 5 Final on Friday. With God's blessing again I will exceed at that and complete nursing 5 so that I may start nursing 6 which means Tuesday exam!!!
Also we are going to check out the rental house down the road from my brother's house on the 29th! So excited, says they are still working on it and that it is 5 bedroom but they must be like tiny because the house is only 1800 sqft. But hey I'm not judging it until I see it (and smell it)! I hope all these little pieces are all apart of God's plan for my husband & I.
Say a little prayer for me!!!!

Request for prayers...

School is getting down to the nitty gritty.

Two weeks from tomorrow will be 2 weeks with 4 tests. This has probably not happened in Nursing school before because I've not had 2 classes at the same time, nor 3 classes in 1 semester. This Thursday is N5 2nd exam, covering disaster nursing, Change/Conflict, & Quality Improvement/time management. Then next Monday is the Pharm Hesi Final (omg be with me), then the friday after that is N5 Hesi Final, then the Tuesday after that (or 2 wks from tomorrow) is N6 1st general nursing exam covering Pharm, MH, Dosage- assuming that you/I/we pass Nursing 5 & Pharm!!!

So I could really use a few extra prayers on behalf! The N5 exams are hard because you don't know what they are going to ask, the material is less black/white than normal nursing content. Pharm, well what can I say, it is my hardest topic. Seriously how many drugs are in the world and you want me to know random information about each (interactions, expected/not expected effects, when to give it/withhold it, etc). Then there is the general exam... since that is the first day of nursing 6 I'm not really sure what info we will get before the test (like tips or helpful hints or advice for the course & exams). I've been calling it "hell weeks", although I'm pretty confident it is nothing like hell itself. Hell is surely worse but it will be a huge challenge, at times tortuous, extremely stressful. I will be yo-yo-ing between studying and can't take anymore studying, then guilt for not studying enough, then convincing myself to focus on content I half know VS learning new things and of course consuming high sugar substances & when the house is bare of these items telling Rob I need a McFlurry or McD's ice cream cone STAT!

I know God will be with me on my personal roller-coaster of all the above & emotions. I believe and trust he will get me through it and I will succeed, I will exceed at the exams and be promoted to the next course (N6) & do well on its first test so I can be on the road to graduating May 2nd!

And then on March 27th, after all the exams are over for a brief period I will take my cats to TN to stay with my brother until my Husband & I will make the BIG MOVE...

With my hardest effort and faith in God that he will bless me & my family, with his will & hope for my life.

So if anyone out there sends a prayer for me I thank you from the depths of my heart. Nursing school is and has been a long long long hard road and I'll be crying tears of joy on the inside when I get my pin on May 2, 2012.

Giving it to God...

Every now and then I get caught up on something in life....

Most recently it has been over money, more specifically the fact that TN RN's get paid on the low side of the range, the very low side. So naturally I became concerned abut my ability to provide for my family, whether we could afford for Rob to go to college or get deeper in debt with student loans, could we even afford a child and still love a comfy life, or would we be worse off than now (and for the record "now" is unrealistic- too few bills and a monthly trust- all ending soon..). You might say it made me kind of down. I immediately recognized how absurd I was being. That a job is blessing and since i don't have a job ATM.... having one would be an improvement. A then a for a second I considered my back up option... my go-to last resort choice= Dorothy's house. A place I hope I own all my life and teach my children well enough to continue to pass it down the family tree like a giant heirloom. True - Ohio nurses do make more the TN. But I'm seriously considering it, thus the "last resort" theory. Although apart of my dream is to fix Dorothy's house, put in central heat and air, fix any flaws, maybe even update it a little. But as I contemplate how I'll ever afford to buy my own home, how then could I ever have enough funds to fix up a house I don't live in. In my mind selling the house isn't an option, I nearly tear up at the thought of it, in fact I think it would scar me so badly that I'd forever have difficulty driving by it. What can I say, I', F****d up in the head ?!?

That wasn't my point... my point was......

I always am driven back to God. I'm again and always putting my faith in him and asking for guidance. I believe in my heart that God will, in one way or another, provide for me and my family. That whatever is going to happen is all apart of his plan. And I will do my best to listen diligently and do my part. I'm not just about to graduate nursing school because I did it all on my own- God was there the whole time, along with other support. So that I was stressed and down, I'm giving it over to God....

Blessings

I feel the light of heaven shining upon me....

I got my practicum schedule, which starts the 3rd and I have a couple days to study before the exit Hesi, and I get to take my "cats to tn" trip. I also applied for my first nursing job, I don't know what the odds are of me getting it but hey I did have a little luck with applying to one job and getting it.... I really only applyed because the job doesn't start until June 25th, kind of afraid to apply for other jobs because I can't start til about june since I have to finish school and get the License!!!

So I'm feeling pretty good but before the mini trip and before practicum (on a mother/baby unit- yes!) I have 4 exams. 2 hesi finals, a N5 exam, & General nursing (pharm, da, mental health). So I have some major cramming to do over the next few weeks.... Lord help me please!

And maybe we'll even get to view a potential rental house and the landlord might be so nice to let use reserve it for may/june... if he does I hope God continues to bless me by getting me a nursing job....

This truly must be his will

Spring break!

So my skimmed by on the Pharm exam and successful passed my IV check off. Yay! Now I'm on spring break & trying do as much as I can. Yesterday my husband and I went to visit his dad who is serving life in prison for being a habitual offender- when he was a teen I think he asulted someone or stole something(not for sure), then a few years later grand theft, then a few years later armed robbery (however the weapon was a toy gun- no real weapon). For those actions he is in for life, I don't think the punishent warrants life in prision, at least let him have the option for paraole. But the only shot at that is if my Husband & I gather funds & find a lawyer to pursue it (he has no else involved in his life). I never knew the criminal, nor my husband, but we have grown to know a little about him now which must be changed. And my husband might even have a couple siblings that he will probably never meet.

Meanwhile, have heard about all those Tornado's this past weekend? My brother had to hang out in his basement again but they didn't get one, got to love the valley.

Also Practicum assignments are out!!! I got Winnie Palmer - mother/baby unit (postpartum). Of course I'm sure God must have played a role in this. Tomorrow I get to speak with my preceptor & figure out my schedule. Don't get me wrong, there are still lots of exams left that must be stellar grades so I can succeed & exceed so I may get pinned on May 2nd.

Now for a few Tidbits....

• 
  
  10 Foods good for hair here, I know I could always use a little more strength and shine, I'll admit it I dye my hair. I was born with blond hair, so pretty, with a hint of strawberry-red highlights. People would kill for that, but since my hair got somewhat darker- a dirty blond I suppose, I go all out with the bleach blond effect. Although some people may wonder what my true color is (those who didn't know me as a kid) look at my eyes (blue) and my eyebrows- they are light. I'm not like the Hollywood bleachies with near black/dark brown eyebrows....


• 
  
  I just have to laugh at this one- a Ranking of the 10 Happiest States (and the less than happy) here .... Tennessee is tied for 10th for low well-being, only to be neighbors to Florida at number 9. Taking a look at the low ones- a lot are from the south so maybe health places a role- lots of obese people in southern states....


• 
  
  I found a new blog, Survival Mom, thanks to the Today show. I'll admit I watch Doomsday Preppers on Natgeo. I find it interesting and at some point may consider having a 3 month supply of food (maybe?) but definitely interested in getting some N95 masks (thanks to Contagion and me being a nurse) and increasing my medical supplies. I've lived through Hurricane warnings when the shelves are cleared before the news can report it, when power goes out for a week and the grocery stores can not sell anything or only dry goods, and gas is getting in line for at least an hour. So I know first hand that getting the items you want (vs the items you'll only use if you have to like certain foods) means shopping before the event, before the warning. And to some extent couponing can play a role in this! Are you the Ant or the Grasshopper??

Well I hope that was enough mindless info and updating....

Let the Lord lift me up tomorrow & this week...

As the hours wind down to the ever closer testing time my nerves kick in just a bit more than before..... I've been studying a good portion of the day, first my note cards and for the past few hours practice questions... I really thought I'd be done with the ?'s by now but I guess they took longer than I expected. I'm planning on being awake in 24 hours so I can make a good breakfast (probably some scrambled eggs) and have enough time to do a mini devotional & study a few quick notes..... I really don't know if I have ever felt "prepared" for any of the exams I've taken but despite my feelings God always has a plan.... And this semester I'm feeling even more blessed by the grades I've gotten so far. Hopefully this trend will continue, I'll complete all my assignments before the due date, and pass the clinical portions too- then get pinned on May 2nd. I must say something like that about 5-10 times a day. I pray probably on average 2x day and each time I never fail to mention my hope & desire to pass, succeed, and get to the next step on this road. Right now I'm attempting to finish up those practice questions, relizing that I probably will not get to study my practice cards as well as I'd like to, also listening to Third Day on my pc (practice ?'s on pc too). I was luck or blessed that the great O.C. library system has tons of great items, including Third Day cds to check out, so I ripped them onto my lappy. I am so thankful for what and where God has taken me and look forward to continuing my path with him by my side to guide me. I know some of you in the world may think I'm nuts, may think I'm one of those holy roller or judgemental types. The truth is I tend to keep my spiritualness or religious beliefs or expression to myself or in my home. Not for fear or not because of shame or fear of others judging me- not at all. I am who I am & at the end of the day I don't care who knows it or what they think. I just tend to worship privately, I think my relationship is private with God or maybe with my husband too, not sure but anyways. I don't force my beliefs down onto anyone. I only hope that everyone in the world will find there spiritual leader, mine is God and that is what I believe. So say a prayer if you care & if you are a believer- Pharm 2 exam tomorrow and trying to complete Virtual IV this week, if not get checked off too, and as usually the 3rd to last clinical on Wed. I have peace and hope...

Blessed again..

Isn't everyday a blessing? But sometimes we are blessed a little more than the average day... I got a B on nursing 5 exam! Now I just have to stay on task, keep up the good grades, and nursing 6 will be here before I know it. Then on May 2nd, with the Lord's help and blessing I will complete the nursing program with the pinning ceremony. It might just be one of the happiest days of my life.
So God if you're reading my blog - Thanks!

I will thank God no matter what the outcome...

Well if you've seen my recent posts then you can bet your bottom dollar that I'm preparing to tackle another hurdle or challenge. We are about a month into Nursing 5 & Pharmacology and it hasn't been too bad. The first week was a test, then week 2 hesi, then week 3 the beginning of clinical and week 4 the real deal of clinical and as week 5 begins tomorrow- the first exam for pharm. Am I ready? can you truly be ready? I have tried my best for the last week, especially last 2 days to study. It has been difficult, I have battled being induced into a sleepy fog but I did try. I've done practice questions and pharm chat, and review and flash cards. I even did some calculating to see what my worst case passing scenario would be.... if I maintain my case study average then it turns out I don't need A's to pass, however I'm aiming for that awesome A. Pharm might be a life long battle, with new drugs popping up every year and a vast amount of information that can applied to each individual drug. It I could know it all I'd be writing the Davis drug guide. So maybe I'll get a few more minutes of studying in tonight, maybe I'll wake up early for a review but come 10 am it will be up to me and the Lord above. For he is always with me despite the task. As the minutes gain close to that test time I try to pull myself together. To get into the mind set, to use my energies for less studying and more keeping calm, pushing out stress, and reassuring myself with faith, God's will or plan for me. I may not know how to perfectly recite many or any bible verses but I do know that With God All Things Are Possible....

Week 3....

Alrighty, so this week, on the surface, would appear to relatively easy. However, no week in nursing school could just be as simple as "easy. I thought having 2 classes wouldn't be too bad, after I all I've done 4 at one time before.... But there are a ton of discussion boards and more group ones than I would prefer. Not downing the groups, they have been great but I like to depend on myself and have control over what I'm doing and when I'm gonna have it done. Example, we have another group post this week for N5, I'd like to have started my end of it but I was waiting to see if anyone had input since it's a collaboration. (Will email tomorrow if not emailed back) I've been keeping up with the chapters ok but have not started studying for pharm yet. Tonight I'm doing practice questions, tomorrow some pharm stuff, see what's up with group, and maybe finish this weeks reading. Then Tuesday is first day of Clinical.
Sometimes I don't know how I've done it or how I'll do it. But one thing I do know is I couldn't or can't do it without God. Everyday it seems I find some way the lord has blessed, whether it seems like a smaller one like getting what I wanted or a surprise freebie in the mail OR passing a class or getting an A on the hesi. Like I've typed on here many times, I believe it's God will for me to be a nurse. So I do what I can, pray for God to help me do more & succeed, and put it in his hands.
I take a deep breath and God calms me, then I just keep thinking "May 2, 2012"...

12 Goals for 2012

Here is a list of goals, some of these will happen on certain dates or parts of the year, while others maybe a general goal to complete by 2013. I love hearing what other people's goals are & find it very encouraging when they accomplish one or all of them. And I don't mind praying for others & meeting their goals, if you would like to pray for me I'll welcome the support! (They aren't in any specific order, although goal 1 & 2 are most important, occur during the first 4-5 months, & will have a domino affect on other/future goals)...

1. Pass my 3 remaining Nursing classes & Graduate with my nursing degree (get pinned May 2nd)


2. Pass the NCLEX (the "boards" aka get my license to practice as an RN)


3. Get my first RN job


4. Move to TN (need number 3 for this one)


5. Be more consistent with reading the Bible & leading a faith filled life


6. Replace the old Geo with a new(er) car for Mr. Rob


7. Get in better physical shape (whether it be losing a couple pounds or improving my strength)


8. Pay it forward


9. Meet my goal to have $X amount saved by move date


10. Start 2 long term goals: expanding the family & Rob's education


11. Spend more time with family & loved ones (take more photos too)


12. To not take anyone or anything for granted (spread kindness & appreciative)

Saving for God?

Isn't weird how it seems like we or I tend to be more reflective on my life and the past year, the future? This year my Husband & I achieved what I might call a milestone, we attended a christian event (The Night of Hope with Joel Osteen). Now if you know me maybe that isn't the most surprising but if you know my husband it could be shocking, maybe? I'm pretty sure it's been a decade since I attended church & I don't know if my husband could even answer that question if you asked him... but anyways I'm drifting off of my topic/point!
So today I was able to organize the money gifts we got for the holidays and a deposit I had withdrawn several weeks ago. I was able to add them back to our "savings" (BTW way we are $2,800 from our goal & have til May). I even added my own little personal savings (to save for a big ticket item, used my unspent allowance & Christmas money) & a thought popped into my head... maybe I should make a savings for God...?.... If I did attend Church I'd definitely make a donation.... So I think I'm going to take $10 out of my hiding spot & place it in an envelope marked God.... maybe I'll save until my next churchy event or til next Christmas & donate it to a church or Christian fund to help the less fortunate. I'm not rich but I'm not poor & I guess I feel like I should make an attempt to a tithe.

Prayer Request....

Ok so don't flip out or anything, no one is dying! However this is still a serious issue to me & my future (ie families future?).... I have my final for nursing 4 this coming Tuesday around noon or 12:30 until 3:30 i think. I normally do pretty well, all my past Hesi exams were in the 80's. Unlike past courses this one requires your average exam grade to be a passing average (there are an optional 20 points that they will only count if you get the passing average, yes it's weird). So I need a 72 to pass this class. Although 76.45 or lower is consider failing (no D's in nursing). I'm going to give it all i have but I wouldn't deny anyone for sending God a few prayers for me. I know I need him with all endeavors, especially ones like this. So if all goes well I will celebrate Tuesday afternoon by getting down on my knees or closing my eyes and bowing my head as soon as I hit the car or maybe even as soon as the grade pops up on the computer my inner voice will shout "praise God thank you lord". It's what I want for Christmas I guess you could say. I just want everyone to be healthy & for me to pass this class = stay on track to graduate next spring.

Thank You God

My Husband Got A Job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's been about 6 months of trying since we moved to Orlando, it's kinda funny cause it's the same job as he had in TN, but he's doing dish/gu 2 nights and 3 days of prep/dish? BUT his boss said once they get another dishwasher they will move him up to prep 5 days. Hopefully that will come with a raise. He's making the same as in TN but the diff comes down to cost of living is cheaper in TN (at least housing) but TN has 9 1/2 sales tax, FL is 6 1/2. So hard to say which is a better deal. The truth is I'm living today for today and after i become a nurse i'll be ready to plant my roots. Where that will be who knows but i know it will be a place that my family will be successful and happy.

Bible Verses

For those of you who believe in Jesus Christ, a few verses...

For what is seen is temporary, but what is not seen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18(NIV)

Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. --- Matthew 28:28

Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing. --- Romans 15:13

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. --- Psalm 46:1

Verily, verily, I say to you, He thatbelieves in me has everlasting life.--- John 6:47

Birth Verse

This is my Birth Verse:

Romans 8:18 NIV
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

This is my husbands:

Romans 8:5 NIV
Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.


Want yours? Go here.